Don't Worry, Everyone Dies Read online

  My head snaps up and Theodore sits at my feet. His eyes bounce from my wrist to the bloody blade.

  “This takes ‘crazy cat lady’ to a whole different level because now you’re talking to me,” I say with a grimace.

  “I won’t argue with you on the crazy part, but it’s blood loss and shock, you idiot. You honestly think that if you could understand me I wouldn’t start with an insult?” he asks me.

  I blink slowly at him a few times, noting the way his mouth moves around English like he was born speaking it.

  “Fine, then what would you say?”

  “Who the hell names a fat, gray, tabby ‘Theodore’? What are you, 80?”

  “Yeah, you’re right. That would’ve made more sense,” I say.

  “So, are you gonna do anything about that?” he asks.

  “About my talking cat?”

  “About you bleeding out on the kitchen floor, you dolt. The manager is gonna have your head if this stains. You might even get evicted,” he says, tilting his head.

  “If I haven’t gotten evicted over your claw marks on every feasible service, I doubt this would do it,” I say, before bringing my right arm up to wipe away sweat on my forehead.

  “Oh, I get it, you’re stalling,” he says.

  “Stalling for what?”

  “It was an accident, you’re not technically killing yourself if you don’t stop the bleeding,” he says.

  “My phone is in my room anyway, doubt I could get to it by now.” There’s no sense lying to my cat. It’s not like his paw pad could work the touch I.D.

  “Yet there are plenty of towels you can reach,” he says before his face darkens a bit. “Is it really that bad? You’d let your cat accidently kill you?”

  “Well, you are my best friend,” I say, cracking a weak smile.

  “I wasn’t doing you a favor. I just wanted belly rubs before I bit the shit out of your hand. It’s not my fault you get scary when you growl. It’s like you’re a golem,” he says with an eye roll.

  “Golems don’t bleed, Theo.”

  “You got me there.”

  “So, what are you gonna do now? Eat everything? Call some lady cats over?” I ask. I tighten my jaw to keep my teeth from chattering.

  “If you dying causes me to grow thumbs, then yes. Otherwise, your mother will take me in. She always loved me. Your father, however, I’m going to sleep on every black shirt he owns,” he says with a laugh.

  “Will you…” I say swallowing hard. “Will you make sure they don’t cry over me too much? Like, cuddle with them and sleep on my old bed?”

  “Yeah, I can do that. I’ll even sleep on your sister’s feet when she comes over. I refuse to come out of hiding if she brings over her little terrors though,” he says. He moves back a bit as the puddle of blood grows larger.

  “Good, they’ll like that. They’ll be okay, right? Like, I’m kind of the disappointment daughter that never grew out of her child depression, though they’ll swear I was anything but at my funeral.”

  “Yeah, they’ll all be ok. It will get easier with every year that passes, but they’ll always miss you,” he says. His face turns somber. “I’ll do as much as I can till I kick the bucket too.”

  “Thanks buddy, I know it hasn’t been great living in a run down, one-bedroom apartment behind an alley. Especially living with someone who would rather be swallowing all of their anit-depressants with a side of bleach. I’m sorry for that, but mom and dad will be better,” I say.

  “I wouldn’t say that. I really did like living here with you. I’m actually probably gonna miss you the most,” he says with misty eyes.

  “Really? Even after all of this? Why?” I ask. My vision finally fades out and the feeling of cold, sticky, skin numbs into nothingness. The last thing to go is my hearing, muffled, but there enough to hear one last thing.

  “Because, you idiot, you’re my best friend too.”

  About the Author

  Zoë Michelle is a fiction novelist whose skills vary from writing books, to scripts, to video game storylines. She is earning her Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Creative Writing from Full Sail University. She is a screenwriter and part of the crew for the web series “20 Something and Counting” that launched in mid-2016. A versatile writer, her top genres are deep angst and romantic comedy. She has a strong online presence and was inducted into The National Scholar Collegiate Society for her drive and skill in creative writing.

  https://www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-michelle-46163b153/